She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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