Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude i'm inner monologue high
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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