Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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