U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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