No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize