The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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