you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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