all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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