we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
