check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
