I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
