thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
