We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
