my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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