oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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