the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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