Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize