no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
