"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
