arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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