Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize