2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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