tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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