A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
