I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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