I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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