I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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