I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
