The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
