I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
