everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
