Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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