I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Pooping to opera.
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