Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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(+61): View more from Australia

This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade

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(519): View more from Ontario

duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.

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(954): View more from Florida

First date: that requires underwear, huh?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.

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(510): View more from California

In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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(701): View more from North Dakota

in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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(813): View more from Florida

I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.

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