you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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