i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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