is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
