Are we in a gay sports bar?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
