Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
