Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
