Buhtt sex?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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