just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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