he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
