Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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