yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
