You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
