Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
