am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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