So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
