He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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