I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
