And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
