i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He better not be in your backpack
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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