found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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