you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
