Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
