Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
